Great sex last night

I had some great sex last night. This guy that I've been e-mailing back and forth with for months finally came over to my place last night. He was okay looking, but was a great fuck.

Of course then I go to the place of "I have a partner that I love, so what does this mean?" I really want to be feeling guilty and feeling like I'm cheating on him, but I don't. I'm just sort of numb about it.

And then I got an e-mail from another hot man that I've hooked up with a few times, wanting to get together. We set up a time for him to get to my place at 10:30. He didn't show. I sort of figured this would happen since most of these guys looking for "sex right now" can ever set up a time in the future (I guess that's why it says "right now"). Would have been nice, though, to shoot a load up his black ass.

Pork Rinds

I've been on Atkins now for 2.5 weeks, and it's actually working. (I've lost 11 pounds since I started. Was 182, now down to 171!!). But in the meantime I'm getting REALLY sick of this low-carb food. You know, I really love to snack, but there's really few choices for snack foods. The main one I was told was cheese, but I can only take so much of this. I then came across pork rinds. Now I'd NEVER had porkrinds in my life, but forced myself to eat them since they have NO carbs and an entire bag of them is only around 400 calories. The one big negative of this is that they're VERY dry and get caught in my throat. So I then drink caffeine-free diet coke to swallow it down.

I know I'll never eat these fucking pork rinds again once I'm over this diet. My goal weight is 155, which will no doubt take me ALL summer to reach. So say hello to a summer of pork rinds. In their honor I've created a poem:

Pork rinds, pork rinds
no carbs in every bag.
they have no taste
but reduce my waist
and always make me gag!

Cheers,

ME

First entry

okay, this is my first entry. Why did I start this? I need a place to vent; to get rid of the baggage; to be brutally honest; to show my faults, my thoughts, my greatness, my dreams, my humanity.

The thing I deal with the most is making my life have meaning. I mean, I have SO many ideas, but I just can't seem to get off my ass and do things. I have been to so many workshops and seminars, reading so many self-help books, but they don't seem to make a dent. I recently went to a seminar about soft-addictions, so I thought that this would be a good place to keep a chronicle of my daily soft addictions, how much time and money they take up, and then what I could be doing otherwise. Also I need to purge my guts of all of the things inside me that I haven't been able to tell anyone.

ME